Madam Kedai

Entah penting atau engga, gue ngerasa gue harus posting tulisan ini. Gue mau, saat gue sudah besar nanti dan gue baca tulisan ini, gue teringat masa ini dan bisa ketawa karena bacanya.

So, HERE WE GO!

Karena gue tinggal sendiri di negara ini, at least gue ga ada yang masakin. karena ga setiap saat gue bisa masak, at least gue beli dong. Nah, kedai (sebutan untuk warung disini) terdekat disini adalah diatas pasar. Dan kedai muslim sepengetahuan gue ada beberapa cuma yang jualan nasi kayaknya cuma ada satu, di situ, (ga bisa gue terangin ya, ribet. hehe).

Nah, kedai ini jualan nasi padang (nasi rames), lontong, nasi lemak, bakwan sama pisang goreng. Yang jadi masalah itu bukan makanannya, yang jadi masalah utama itu adalah PENJUALNYA.

Penjualnya itu yang kadang bikin ga srek! grrrr..

Jadi penjualnya itu dua madam (ibu-ibu) yang sifatnya bertolak belakang banget deh. Mereka dibagi shift-nya. Selama ini sepengalaman gue, shift pagi sampe kira-kira jam 3 itu adalah shift Madam Berkerudung yang judesnya minta ampun dan merokok. Kalo lepas jam 3, shift Madam yang berambut bondol dan berkacamata.

Entah kenapa gue musuhan banget sama Madam berkerudung. Sebenernya sih dia baik, cuma yang ga gue suka dia itu suka ngatur makanan gue! Lah? Masa gue maunya ini dia ngatur "ini aja" atau menunya semau-mau dia. LAH! Gue yang mau makan, Madam! Sebel gue. Ntar pake acara berantem dulu sama gue, ntar salah denger lah, protes lah, ngebentak gue lah, beeeuh kalo ga laper ogah gue beli disitu kalo dia yang jaga.

Nah sifat si Madam berkerudung ini berbanding terbalik banget sama Madam satu lagi yang berkacamata. Madam berkacamata ini tampangnya judes tapi manis. Ngingetin gue sama Mami Ati. Ga pake kerudung, rambutnya bondol dan sangat murah senyum sama gue :)

Dia sepertinya tau gue sering beli disitu jadi kalo gue kesana dia senyum.. Terus ga suka protes, gue mau apa juga dikasih, ga malah ngatur makanan gue! dan yang gue suka dari dia, dia suka ngajak becanda. Kaya kemaren gue beli bakwan gue bilang "Bakwan boleh 2" terus dia jawab "10 pun boleh!". hehehe garing ya? tapi gue suka hehe.

Tapi nih, setelah gue perhatiin ada sesuatu yang janggal. Okay, emang sih ya setiap orang ada kelebihan pasti ada kekurangan. Kelebihan si Ibu berkerudung walaupun dia judes, kalo beli makanan murah. paling mahal $3.5. Kalo si Ibu Kacamata, biarpun dia baik, tapi anehnya harganya jadi lebih mahal. bisa sampe $4.

entah apa yang membuat harga itu bisa berubah. padahal gue makan itu-itu aja. hemh.. aneh sih, tapi ya memang begitu kenyataannya.

i sometimes feel so awkward when i go there to get my brunch but im pretty sure, someday i'll be missing that place and those Madam. Even one of them is so.. eerf!

bunch of loves
DindaZein

Emptyness

Hey, how's your life sweety?
Look forward to hear a nice answer.

Me? na'ah.. im not doing so good.
i somehow feel so empty. so empty.

Ga tau kenapa tapi hati ini lagi benar-benar kosong. Nelangsa. Antara rindu yang luar biasa sama mama papa mixed by random toughts. Duh, mungkin kalau bisa di deskripsikan dengan kata-kata, perasaan gue sekarang adalah "akdhasufwuleifsdhfqilyrqelolpfiv".

ABSURD!

i can't describe my feelings, serius ga bisa. barusan aja gue chatting sama Keke ketawa-ketawa kaya orang gila. Barusan aja gue menulis sesuatu yang ilmiah. Tapi.. argh! Kacau banget feeling gue. gue tau sih, ini gejala PMS. Jerawat, fikiran kacau, ga bisa kontrol, moody and bla bla bla. But please God, ga kuat banget sama perasaan ini.

i need to share..

do i need love?
if it is required, i dont mind.
as long as it could making me happy.

It is just another fiction

Carole : " Dad, may i have a tattoo? "

Dad : " Tattoo? what tattoo? "

Carole : " Kind of permanent tattoo "

Dad : " What kind of shape? "

Carole : " Still have no thought, just a kind of line "

Dad : " Don't be "

Carole : " Why? "

Dad : " Because i said so "

Carole : " I'll be home late tomorrow "

Dad : " Why? "

Carole : " There's a dance festival at Soronne. I'm dancing there "

Dad : " You are like a slut "

Carole : " Why? "

Dad : " You look forward to have a tattoo and you are a dancer "

Carole : " So your girlfriend is a slut, eh? "

Dad : " What are you talking about? "

Carole : " She is a dancer and she has tattoo "

Dad : " But she's in not even prettier than you "

Carole : " Slut is cool.. "

Dad : " What is so cool of being a slut? "

Carole : " She must be know the coherency between men and vagina "

Dad : " What do you know about that? "

Carole : " In the beginning, men came out of a woman's vagina. Years later, they try to get back in. That's why slut still exist. "

Dad : " Go sleeping, it's turning late "

Carole : " Wanna know the coolest thing of being a slut? "

Dad : - Silent -

Carole : " She succesfully made my dad sleeping with a slut "

Insomnia Angel

ARGH!

Insomnia has back to my life. As i have a new "baby", now my bedtime decrease sharply. i currently sleep around 4 am and waking up at 2 pm moreover 2.30 pm. what a mess.

I DON'T LIKE IT LIKE THIS.

i must confess, this "baby" is quite tickle. I'm pleased to take good care of this "baby". if you think this "baby" is a human, you are totally wrong. it is NOT a human, it is a thing or exactly a spot. A spot with zillion smart people inside who live with their own weapons in which could make you addicted to come and hold there.

Whatso-fucking-ever for any evidences, now my only wish is just i could get rid of this insomnia.

I'd love to chase Insomnia Angel to tell her that she SHOULD revoke my name from Insomniacs list. i hate being insomnia.

but then.. i imagined if i successfully met her.
the fact could probably like this :

Me : dear Insomnia Angel.. with all due respect, I'm begging you to throw down my insomnia, i don't wanna be an owl.

Angel : what is your name, sweety?

Me : Dinda Syafira Zein

Angel : (checking her list) Dear, why are you begging to me? I never jot down your name on my list, dear. Never..

Me : But... but i can't sleep properly. I currently feel sleepy around 3 am, it has happened in 5 days in a row. it screw up my days..

Angel : Mmm.. let me check once more. (checking her list) Dear, i am pretty sure, there's no name like yours on my list. you are probably wrong.

Me : But the fact says so.. whom else should i complain but you?

Angel : Okay, i bear a hand for you. Now, force your self to remember any kind of food you've ever eaten from 5 days ago.

Me : Soup, sandwich, lemon tea, coffee, fruit..

Angel : Stop! it's obvious. Coffee, stop drinking coffee dear. that is the main cause of your insomnia.

Me : I can't. i love coffee! coffee is kind of thing that i can't get rid of!

Angel : But you hate insomnia, right?

Me : (nodded my head)

Angel : Dinda my dear.. Life is full of options. You may only choose one, follow your lust and you would be tormented living in Night Life or get rid of coffee and you would be happy enjoying your days in Fairyland. Night Life is cruel, especially for you dear. i suggest you choose the second ones, it is much better.

Me : but I don't live in Night Life, I just awake at night due to that shitty Insomnia.

Angel : hahahaha, That's the same. Insomnia is caused by coffee and due to Insomnia you're forced to live in Night Life. Living in Night Life means you're reversing your world. nights become days and days become nights. That's not the nature of life!

Me : (silent)

Angel : Dear, sorry i'm in hurry.. I must go. Is this clear, sweety? Any questions?

Me : (shook a head)

The angel immediately left me after i thanked and apologized for this mistakenness.


Maybe if that's really happening in my life, i could honestly say i was not satisfied. this is kind of injustice. she is still be responsible for this case.

or..
should i stop drinking coffee and edge away my "baby"?

Lovely (host) Family

Tonight was not a typical night.

I came out of my room to could use some water, i found Fika sat on doing her homework. i was meant to have chit chat, asking what she was doing but then it turned out studied Math together as she asked me to help her. Oh god! Math. That WAS okay, i love Math and i love number if it still certain Methods such as Integral, Algebra etc. unfortunately, it gave me up when i found LOGIC was the current subject. I'd love to raise my hands up but i thought "okay, just trying. try hard to recall your mind. push your brain!"

there were 6 questions and all of them were LOGIC for sure. Fika had done 3 of them thus, i only must have done 3 left. seriously, i tried to push my self even force me to dig them out but it turned out failed. i couldn't make it.

gleefully, Fika decided to stop doing her task. After that, Fika and I talked a lot, she wanted me to show my handwriting and my sign. i gave her a new sign and that's cute. hahaha

in the middle of talking with Fika, Bu Sue approached me and surprisingly asked some random questions about my days. i was SO happy, that kind of moment rarely happened between me and this family as we were busy with our own business.

Bu Sue, Fika, Yani, Hakim and I gathered together, mingled to review our past days. She did apologize of all mistaken of her family, so did I. we were melted by the time, by the love, by the stories. i told her my spring break has already start.

last, i asked permission to cook due to my class currently ends earlier than usual so i have more time at home. i feel like cooking can kill the boredom, i also can save my money. Bu Sue was shocked when she heard i can cook. She said she can't cook very well. as a matter of fact, she asked me to teach her cook something. i was lol-ing at that moment. then.. i promised i would cook for this family someday.

perhaps, this story is not interesting. it is just another typical story and lil bit creepy. but for me..... this story is so lovely. my host family is so lovely.

my real family is out there, beyond my scope. i have none in this country but friends and another close acquaintances. being closed in this family is one my own happiness while I'm here alone by my self.

still remember when i was sick and Nyai (grandma) took me to the Policlinic. i just felt they love me. they accept me as a new member of their family.

guys.. listen up.

The most important thing in your life is your family. There are days you love them and others you don't. But, in the end, they are the people who you always come home to.

Sometime, it's the family you're born into but sometime it's the one you make for yourself..


bunch of loves
DindaZein

IMY

I read our BBM chat written couple months ago
when you were still be my Baby Giraffe.



i miss you, American Boy.

what is WRONG with March?

those words have been stuck on my mind since last night when i noticed i lost my green top up card (again). different stories with the previous, this time i -thankfully- just lost $18 green card. $18 ey? that's not small value for me as a student. it started when last night i meant to top up my MaxMobile, through in my mind I've bought one unused $18 couple days ago. i haven't used it, more ever it wasn't opened yet. i thought, it would be opened when i need it to be and last night was the perfect time to use it since i couldn't sleep well. it was supposed to kill my boredom by surfing or writing on internet.

however, did you know what happened? it lost! i was looking for that lil card to the whole room, searching in my wallet, pulling out things inside my bag but i didn't find it. within minutes, i thought i must have dropped it at the Stole. i recalled my mind but i was bond to take that card and kept it in my wallet. despite of i didn't keep it in my wallet i was pretty sure i put it in the plastic bag.

whose fault is this? me? argh.

well, the story didn't stop right here. I've look around my house hall this morning because searching something in the middle of night was an uphill battle. so, this morning, i looked on that precious card in my house hall, kitchen, washroom and frequently groped for that card in my room. briefly I've looked around all over place but dear me, i can't still find it! it has mysteriously gone.

maybe blew in by the wind

maybe someone sneaked into my house and secretly stole it

maybe God took it quietly from me so that i can study well

or maybe.. March is warning me not to be a careless girl.

blame March for this!

love

DindaZein

A!

ever noticed how many A(s) in your life?

I meant.. how many A, either things or person have surrounded you in your life?

I noticed it, i have so many A(s) in my life.

i ever tweeted once " i love A, i had crush on A(s) but i hate so many A(s) "

when i tweeted those particular words, my mind registered one thought "Why am I surrounded by A(s)?

let me go these straight. i just noticed that I've had so many A(s) either ex-boyfriend(s), friends, things or more over enemies around me. Those A(s) have encircled my self. did you know? most of my ex boyfriends have A as their capital name. let me say, 6 of 9! see? A loved me and i loved A. indeed.

furthermore, there are several people who i hate most and luckily their name starts with A! now you might know how incredible A is!

however, i just can't resist to say A(s) have successfully fallen me down. it's probably sounds so exaggerated but yeah, i realise it well. so in this moment, I'd love to say something to my A(s) in which i couldn't tell directly to themselves for some reasons.

did you know A? i loved you. i was so in love with you. i gotta say you were good enough and i felt glad when i had you around. you are one of my bests, unfortunately you have changed. your current girlfriend has made you changing. i feel so awful of this.

did you know A? you were the first boy who touched my hand! none had done that but you! you were the one who i trusted to repair my broken heart after almost 9 months being single. awfully you broke your promises. i caught you lied, hang out with your ex slightly in my eyes.

did you know A? for no reasons i thought you were my biggest mistake. yes, you made me lost my bestfriend. you made me hard to acknowledge that love is sweet. you made it clear that your exgirlfriend is still irreplaceable when i caught your messages on fb. you made me hopeless to believe faithfulness does exist.

did you know A? you were the first foreign boy that I've fallen in love with. you were sweet and smart indeed. i never knew you could play an hard game with me when you didn't appear for awhile and suddenly came with another girl. thankfully, i haven't fallen too far. you are such a bastard.

did you know A? i hate you. you do as you please. you behave as if you are the smartest of all. you might start to speak and present yourself in such a way that there is no mistaking on your views and opinions are. but wanna know a thing? you proof nothing. you are smart indeed but not the smartest. do not ever estimate others, you look stupid when you do that. and one more, TALK & WRITE LESS, DO MORE.

did you know A? i never knew you are that talkative. thanks to Twitter, it shows me how mouthful, how excessive, how chatter box you are. i know you envy me MUCH, don't you? admit it. and i know you are covered by lies. I'm not that stupid, lil girl. you make a fool of your self. haha, you made me got my nerves when i read your bullshit tweets. you think you are his best? you WERE. you think you could play with his heart? you made it, cause you are a damn mean girl. you think i care much about you? na'ah, dont get me wrong. you are totally wrong. even later you could successfully make your dreams alive, you couldn't make me envy you. if you went to America, you could probably make me envy you. gleefully, you don't wanna make it, right? listen up sweety, don't make any competition between us. seriously that's a silly act. i don't wanna compete with you only for one reason, you are not kind of my competitor. and one rule for you, TALK LESS PROOF MORE.

(and now you really prove me that you really are mouthful)

did you know A? i loved you, actually i still do. you are the best man i ever knew. you are shadow over my head. you are the one that i love and you WERE my everything. i probably might say, I'm stuck on you. as it seems i trapped in the past, i just cant move on. thanks for making me realized that loving someone is much better than being in loved. thanks for thousands love stories that we made. thanks for a lovely family that i always adore. thanks for breaking up for no reasons. and thanks for making me feeling so in love, complicated, awkward and hate with A.

hoping no more A

DindaZein

ps: i talked to different A(s) person. not only one.

Rest In Peace, Mami Citra

it was such a bad morning. not because any stupid mistakes that i usually made neither any accident which could have made my mood drop to the lowest point. i got a bad news and surprisingly it came by on my facebook.

i got one notification telling me that Aldita wrote something on my wall, i never thought its content would make me crying over.

she wrote "Neng etok, kabar duka.. Mami meninggal ;''(( baru bgt di sms didit nih gw. Ntar malam mau ngelayat"

did you know? when i read that post, i felt like my blood circulation slightly stopped. my heart suddenly dropped for a second, then it was beating 3 times faster. i read it slowly to make sure of one sentence in which most important of all just to clear my self "kabar duka, Mami meninggal". nah.. it surrender my soul. Mami? Citra? again?

i directly replied her wall describes how mourn i was today. i asked Aldita to send my best prayers, my warmnest hug, my tears, my smile and my everything to Citra. i just can't believe it. Mami has passed away and for the second time Citra has to lose her lovely granny around her. fyi, Papi who is Mami's husband has firstly gone by last year. that was such the grief over the death for us, especially Citra. as I know, Mami and Papi is such like Citra's parents. they looked after, took care of Citra since she was baby. Citra has passed millions days having them around.

i know Citra loves them so much. so do I and Aldita, Ayu, Aegis, Didit, Regie, Caesareno and perhaps Dicky does too. we, Tugu Ibu family love Citra. We love each other either our own parents. we are family. we are only nine but we are one. my parents are theirs too. their parents are mine too. that's what i know in this precious friendship. and when one of us lost, we feel lost. we feel down in the dumps. we feel bad. we are sick about losing.

we had been through the same thing. it happened about two years ago when Caesareno lost his mom. you didn't know how awful we were. that was the first time we felt about losing. when that tragedy happened, Ayu who kept her distance due to her boyfriend that moment, was still care enough about Eno's losing. we united even when we were in festering conflict. because.. -once again- we love each other. we care each other. we are more than friends. we are a family.

well, bear in mind how lovely Mami was. the last time i met Mami was at Citra's 17 bday party, two years ago. my friends and i went to Citra's home and celebrated her party. Mami was there. she looked so beauty with her veil and as always her cooking was my favourite. i ate a lot that moment. i love her cooking. all i know is, Mami's cooking is one of the best cooking I've ever known. when we sat on Tugib's chair, i always waited for break time. and when it came, Citra always had the most delicious dishes. i could know just by sniffing the aroma. the aroma of Mami's cooking always filled the whole class room. i ever once came to Citra's crib and talked a lot with Mami, i've recalled my mind to that time and all i know is just.. Mami was so adorable. na'ah, i pull it back, Mami IS still adorable until now, this second.

right after i replied Aldita's wall, i immediately dropped a wall on Citra's fb. it says how sad i am of her losing. but then, i thought, wall is not enough! i need to talk to Citra. i need to call her! so, few hours ago i successfuly made a phone call with Citra. for heaven's sake i tried so hard not to cry when i spoke with her but in fact i cried hard even harder than Citra. Citra could speak so well to me as if nothing happened to her. she's so tough. i cried, i cried over and over. i just couldn't pretend my self as if this event didn't shake my sorrows. but sadly Citra cried too, she then told me "maafin Mami ya Din..". my response? crying harder. after few minutes i heard her crying, i try to calm my self down slowly and gave her encouragement. i told her, at least Mami can lay down happily beside her Papi in heaven. Together, forever.

i can do nothing. i can't go to her house and pray together like what my friends do. but here, miles away from her crib, i keep praying. praying for my Mami. praying for Citra.

today... Citra has lost her lovely granny. i feel so awful. it's a saddening event and that terrible news really broke my heart. Mami is my grandma too, i even call my real grandma with Mami. Citra's losing is mine too. Citra's grandma is mine too.

I have lost one of my grannies.

Alm. Mami with Citra at Papi's resting place.

Innalillahi Wainnailahi Raji'un.
Rest in peace Mami. Allah always be with you.

endless love
DindaZein

BAD-DAY

I WILL NOT FORGET THIS DAY, MONDAY MARCH 15Th 2010.

yes, this is my bad BAD day. for heaven's sake, this day has not even finished but i already had a lot of bad luck. WHAT IS WRONG?????

okay, i will try to sort them one by one.

First of all, after class dismissed i went to Jurong East to buy top up card. i intended to buy two 128 Green top cards that each costs only $25. i bought two, first ones for activate my Blackberry again and the other one was intended for my MaxMobile. but then, do you know what happened? both of them can not be used either to activate my blackberry or just to top up my MaxMobile due to the top up card is kind of promo package for GST inclusive which is only for supporting the main balance on your card. you can not use it as your main balance for BB preraid nor Maxobile prepaid. sucks, i have spent $50 to buy them and -TADA- they were just USELESS.

however, i still wanted to activate my Blackberry. i think it will be much easier to keep contact with my family by my BB and that's why my mind only registered one thought "I need to buy another top up card, go find the nearest StarHub store". in the other hand, my stomach needed to be filled and i suddenly was craving for Kimichie Ramean. as i know, the stall is only available in 313 Sommerset. briefly, i decided to go there.

thankfully there is a StarHub store in Sommerset. i bought two $18 top up card due to requirements of $25 to activate my BB. while eating my lunch, i tried to activate my BB and not for along time i got a message, it says I've been successfully activated my BB.

normally, after I've successfully activated and re-started my BB, i got two activation emails but i didn't get that this morning! i tried to do that like many times but i still could not use my BB services so before i went back home, i stopped by to StarHub store for assistance. unfortunately, they didn't help anything right. my Blackberry still can not be used until this moment. so, may i say the last $18 top up cards were also useless? yeah, SUCKS!

so.. today I've spent $86 for StarHub only? aha, you are gonna be rich dude!

StarHub sucks my day. THANKS!

okay, I've written two events in a row and those were about stupid StarHub. the last one was about my stupidity. i consider to take a bus to go home. i thought taking MRT would be tiring and the weather was not too good though. if i took MRT, i had to walk from MRT station to reach home and rain was also falling heavily. meanwhile taking bus would be easy so i decided to take bus 105 towards to Queensway from the bus stop near Wheelock Places. i walked along Orchard Road to Wheelock Places through the rain. thankfully, the vibe at Orchard could have been successfully boosting up my mood. i tempted to take some photos to chill my self and forgetting all of bad lucks. these are some photos.

My Kimichi Ramean. YUMMILICIOUS :9

always bring your umbrella, it might come in handy

yes, but Spore isnt only Orchard, i tell you

my favourite store!

Takashimaya

Indonesians love this place

Take a good care Granny! :)

okay, back in the line. i actually wasn't pretty sure where the bus stop is located. I tried to recall my mind to the time when Kak Nor and i been there and i just knew the bus stop was located nearby Wheelock Place. i could saw Wheelock Place from it. so i just walked down and down. but then, there was a junction. i followed my instinct to turn left and for the third time bad luck came to me. i made wrong direction. I was supposed turn left so that i need to walk to reach the real bus stop.

after waiting about 12 minutes, 105 finally arrived. i was in and here i am.. home.
all of sudden i cried hard. i need my mom. i need to tell her that StarHub has made me bankrupt, my BlackBerry is still unavailable to use though it's been active and i still have one unused $128 Green Prepaid card. I'm thinking of selling it and i need Yani to do that. hopefully she can make it.

do you read this God? i just ask you one thing, please make my BB available to use.
it could making me happy.


sincerely
DindaZein

i'm - just - happy

those words could probably describe my feelings. this morning, i got some surprises. Fajar Sofyar has surprisingly been following me on twitter and we have successfully been friends on Facebook after long time didn't see each other. well, am i too brave writing his name clearly? whatsofuckingever, I'm just happy. i can't hide this kinda feeling. it's like "Hey, i've finally found you!"

wanna know the truth? i had crush on him. i had been with him for about 3 months yet we didn't make any special relationship. we were dating afterall. gah, forget about this point. it happened 2 years ago anyway. i just care my current feelings. why was i verry happy when he wrote on my wall though just "Hey.. hehe" ?? actually i know why.. i like seeing his cutie face. i still remember the way he spoke to me, laughed and made some silly jokes. everything was just..... cute.

regarding this feelings, i dont wanna expect too much. i know i can't make it. maybe just for fun? no, i meant.... for making me happy to think at least we can keep in touch each other.

bunch of loves

DindaZein

ps: help! i cant stop smiling!! :)

Meilany Stories

kalau salah satu dari kalian adalah teman FB gue, mungkin kalian tau kalo gue nulis note ber-series dengan tokoh utama Meilany. belum ada judul yang pasti untuk note berseries itu, belum juga ada niatan untuk segera menulis series yang baru karena sampai hari ini baru ada 3 series yang gue tulis. yang pasti cerita itu mengisahkan tentang Meilany, seorang perempuan mandiri yang suka menari dengan segala macam konflik yang dia punya.

pertama kali Meilany series itu terbit di bulan Juni 2009 dengan judul "Meilany Menari". saat itu tiba-tiba gue dapet inspirasi untuk nulis note berseries dan entah mengapa gue memilih karakter seorang "penari" untuk gue tulis. well, sebenernya gue selalu suka sama seorang penari. menurut gue penari adalah sosok misterius yang penuh suka dan duka. gue pernah coba menulis tenang penari tapi sayangnya laptop gue yang menyimpan data itu kena virus jadi tulisan itupun hilang. kembali ke "Meilany Menari", tanpa disangka ternyata note itu dapat sambutan yang cukup baik. banyak komen-komen yang bilang bagus dan nungguin series berikutnya. akhirnya setelah "Meilany Menari", series berikutnya "Aku egois, Ges!" ditulis di bulan Juni juga dan yang terakhir adalah "Sabar, itu alasanku memilih Mei.." di bulan Agustus. sayangnya, belum ada series terbaru sampai hari ini. penulisnya lagi stuck nih. hehe

ngebahas nama Meilany, entah mengapa setiap gue dapat tugas buat karangan waktu SMA gue selalu pake nama Meilany. menurut gue nama itu unik. emang aga jadul sih, tapi menurut gue nama itu berkelas. gue selalu membayangkan sosok Meilany sebagai sosok yang pintar, mandiri, seksi, agak "nakal" tapi berkelas.

nah.. kenapa gue tiba-tiba ngebahas Meilany series? jadi tadi iseng-iseng gue buka FB dan ngecek note. gue baca ulang dan sedikit gue rapihin. then.. i realized something, gue kayaknya harus tetep lanjutin untuk nulis series itu. toh dari komen note itu responnya lumayan bagus. emang sih masih banyak yang harus diperbaiki but im thinking to do "learning by doing". agree?

lagi semangat nih buat ngelanjutinnya. mudah-mudahan series Meilany yang terbaru bisa di respon dengan baik juga. Amin

lots of love
Dinda Zein

ps: if you want to know more about Meilany Series, you can add my Fb at anbiyazein@yahoo.com. then again, im thinking to make new blog specially for Meilany Series only. how do you think, guys? :)

Dark Hour

something's going wrong. i do really need a favor, right now. FYI, it's 3:08 in the morning and I'm hardly trying to write this post due to something that i couldn't do but this.

i don't know what exactly happen to me but currently there are lots of billowing red spots on my body. so itchy. my up lip and my feet are swollen as if i was allergic to something.

GOD, HELP ME.

I tell you the truth, i was barely crying. okay, i pull it back, i was crying. i got my nerves, so panicked! you know what, I'm all alone. alone. none could do a favour for me in this middle of night nor even my family in Jakarta. what is worse? i can't contact my mom since she's now in Mecca. i really want to text her only to ask what's the first aid to do but then i realised that i should handled it all by my self. i don't wanna make her panic though. thankfully, i found Herocin in my closet even if i gotta say it doesn't make it very well.

i need a favor, i really needed it. unfortunately, none could do it right now.

at the moment like this, I've become so realized that I'm in nowhere. okay, say it. Singapore or ONLY Singapore. ONLY Singapore, neighboring country. but then, how could you say 'ONLY' if there were no family nor sibling or just closest friends around you who could do favor anytime you needed it?? you just don't know how it feels.

you do not know what it is like to survive alone in other country.
you do not know how you feel so anxious when things go wrong.
you do not know how it feels lonely and longed for the things you used to be.
and most importantly...
you do not know what it is like when you needed help but you do not know to whom or even don't have anyone to ask.

you just count on your self.

struggling, settling and living alone are not easy. admit it.

letter to him

Dear : Baby Giraffe

it's been six months since the last time you sat on my porch chair.
chair which has variety of emotions

on the same chair..
you said you love me
you flirts me gently
you stroked my hair smoothly
and you said i was the best girl you've ever had.

on the same chair..
i rested my head on his shoulders
i held his hand tightly as if tomorrow i'd see him no more
i laughed out load even though he only made creepy jokes
and i realised he was the best boy i've ever had

i loved sitting next to you on the same chair..
because i could feel the warmness that i could find nowhere
because you were the most favourite hug in my life
because your smell sticked on me
because butterfly always flew on my stomach when i was with you
because you always loved me when i wore pijamas
because i was always exicited when 11th comes everymonth
because i was the first one who call you "Al"
because you are the one and only person who calls me "Fee"
because your mother is such an angel
because you winked your eyes when you said "okay"
because American Boy is our song
because Disya was the apple of my eye
and because you are my baby giraffe


on the same chair..
you sat next to me
you gave up, chose to go and cried
you said everything's over

i didn't cry
i said "thanks"
thanks for your biggest love and for the days we've been through
thanks for the pain, for the tears and for the hurtness that you gave me again
thanks for the everything.. everything about us.

still, though it was for the third times
though this heart didnt want you go away
though this soul belongs to you
and though i love you more than you know
i let you go and said "you are still the best i've ever had"

and now..
six months have passed but i still wish i could move on
but i just can't let go
it is too strong
i've never had anyone make me feel this way
and my heart is sure it wants to be always with you.

you really got me questioning "Why didnt you love me the way i loved you?" but im pretty sure, i have some place in your heart. even just a little but that's very irreplaceable.


"..though we both made our mistake and some we never wish we made but we'll be okay if we just stay TOGETHER"


the one who miss you a lot
Fee