letter to him

Dear : Baby Giraffe

it's been six months since the last time you sat on my porch chair.
chair which has variety of emotions

on the same chair..
you said you love me
you flirts me gently
you stroked my hair smoothly
and you said i was the best girl you've ever had.

on the same chair..
i rested my head on his shoulders
i held his hand tightly as if tomorrow i'd see him no more
i laughed out load even though he only made creepy jokes
and i realised he was the best boy i've ever had

i loved sitting next to you on the same chair..
because i could feel the warmness that i could find nowhere
because you were the most favourite hug in my life
because your smell sticked on me
because butterfly always flew on my stomach when i was with you
because you always loved me when i wore pijamas
because i was always exicited when 11th comes everymonth
because i was the first one who call you "Al"
because you are the one and only person who calls me "Fee"
because your mother is such an angel
because you winked your eyes when you said "okay"
because American Boy is our song
because Disya was the apple of my eye
and because you are my baby giraffe


on the same chair..
you sat next to me
you gave up, chose to go and cried
you said everything's over

i didn't cry
i said "thanks"
thanks for your biggest love and for the days we've been through
thanks for the pain, for the tears and for the hurtness that you gave me again
thanks for the everything.. everything about us.

still, though it was for the third times
though this heart didnt want you go away
though this soul belongs to you
and though i love you more than you know
i let you go and said "you are still the best i've ever had"

and now..
six months have passed but i still wish i could move on
but i just can't let go
it is too strong
i've never had anyone make me feel this way
and my heart is sure it wants to be always with you.

you really got me questioning "Why didnt you love me the way i loved you?" but im pretty sure, i have some place in your heart. even just a little but that's very irreplaceable.


"..though we both made our mistake and some we never wish we made but we'll be okay if we just stay TOGETHER"


the one who miss you a lot
Fee