it was such a bad morning. not because any stupid mistakes that i usually made neither any accident which could have made my mood drop to the lowest point. i got a bad news and surprisingly it came by on my facebook.
i got one notification telling me that Aldita wrote something on my wall, i never thought its content would make me crying over.
she wrote "Neng etok, kabar duka.. Mami meninggal ;''(( baru bgt di sms didit nih gw. Ntar malam mau ngelayat"
did you know? when i read that post, i felt like my blood circulation slightly stopped. my heart suddenly dropped for a second, then it was beating 3 times faster. i read it slowly to make sure of one sentence in which most important of all just to clear my self "kabar duka, Mami meninggal". nah.. it surrender my soul. Mami? Citra? again?
i directly replied her wall describes how mourn i was today. i asked Aldita to send my best prayers, my warmnest hug, my tears, my smile and my everything to Citra. i just can't believe it. Mami has passed away and for the second time Citra has to lose her lovely granny around her. fyi, Papi who is Mami's husband has firstly gone by last year. that was such the grief over the death for us, especially Citra. as I know, Mami and Papi is such like Citra's parents. they looked after, took care of Citra since she was baby. Citra has passed millions days having them around.
i know Citra loves them so much. so do I and Aldita, Ayu, Aegis, Didit, Regie, Caesareno and perhaps Dicky does too. we, Tugu Ibu family love Citra. We love each other either our own parents. we are family. we are only nine but we are one. my parents are theirs too. their parents are mine too. that's what i know in this precious friendship. and when one of us lost, we feel lost. we feel down in the dumps. we feel bad. we are sick about losing.
we had been through the same thing. it happened about two years ago when Caesareno lost his mom. you didn't know how awful we were. that was the first time we felt about losing. when that tragedy happened, Ayu who kept her distance due to her boyfriend that moment, was still care enough about Eno's losing. we united even when we were in festering conflict. because.. -once again- we love each other. we care each other. we are more than friends. we are a family.
well, bear in mind how lovely Mami was. the last time i met Mami was at Citra's 17 bday party, two years ago. my friends and i went to Citra's home and celebrated her party. Mami was there. she looked so beauty with her veil and as always her cooking was my favourite. i ate a lot that moment. i love her cooking. all i know is, Mami's cooking is one of the best cooking I've ever known. when we sat on Tugib's chair, i always waited for break time. and when it came, Citra always had the most delicious dishes. i could know just by sniffing the aroma. the aroma of Mami's cooking always filled the whole class room. i ever once came to Citra's crib and talked a lot with Mami, i've recalled my mind to that time and all i know is just.. Mami was so adorable. na'ah, i pull it back, Mami IS still adorable until now, this second.
right after i replied Aldita's wall, i immediately dropped a wall on Citra's fb. it says how sad i am of her losing. but then, i thought, wall is not enough! i need to talk to Citra. i need to call her! so, few hours ago i successfuly made a phone call with Citra. for heaven's sake i tried so hard not to cry when i spoke with her but in fact i cried hard even harder than Citra. Citra could speak so well to me as if nothing happened to her. she's so tough. i cried, i cried over and over. i just couldn't pretend my self as if this event didn't shake my sorrows. but sadly Citra cried too, she then told me "maafin Mami ya Din..". my response? crying harder. after few minutes i heard her crying, i try to calm my self down slowly and gave her encouragement. i told her, at least Mami can lay down happily beside her Papi in heaven. Together, forever.
i can do nothing. i can't go to her house and pray together like what my friends do. but here, miles away from her crib, i keep praying. praying for my Mami. praying for Citra.
today... Citra has lost her lovely granny. i feel so awful. it's a saddening event and that terrible news really broke my heart. Mami is my grandma too, i even call my real grandma with Mami. Citra's losing is mine too. Citra's grandma is mine too.
I have lost one of my grannies.
Alm. Mami with Citra at Papi's resting place.
Innalillahi Wainnailahi Raji'un.
Rest in peace Mami. Allah always be with you.
endless love
DindaZein
