PMS, do you get lost?

I shouldn't posting this kind of writing, yet I got loads to say but none come out. None to share. No, that's wrong. I have many people to share with but ended up speechless when they are willing to hear my shits. My only thought was just "no, it's confidential".

Yesterday was fabulous. I had a wonderful birthday. Just one word to describe, SUPERB!

Lil bit different with last year, no special treatments from family nor BF (in this case I'm currently single), still, my friends, FB & Twitter made it super special as if I was the princess girl on earth. Well, I'm not gonna telling you any details of it now. I'll be telling you everything about my birthday in time. I surely will. In order to remind "Dinda-in-the-future" of this wonderful new year later, I surely will!

Now.. Just one day after I'm officially 19, I feel so glad despite the fact that PMS hasn't come to me yet. Where the hell on earth is she? Been looking for her lately, almost everyday. This month, she's coming late! I wonder if she get lost. So for those of you who come across with her, bring her back to me.

Don't you dare thinking I'm pregnant. Hark, I'm a holy virgin, FYI. The fear of gaining weight is the main problem! I can stand this constant hunger no more! You know, today I took an hour nap and woke up with massive headache and extra hunger. I can't stop eating. I ate 3 times a day. 3 times? Awesome! I used to eat once a day heeey! 3 times more than I used to.

Moreover, it's getting worse with the fact of uncertain feelings always stick around me. Okay, it's not that bad as while I'm in the middle of PMS, still, I can't take it any longer.

So, wherever in the world you are, Mrs.PMS, I'm begging you come back. Please come to your way like you used to. I'm begging you. I missed polish my nails also (this one is serious, haha). Come in time, but promise me one thing, don't come along with the cramp. Please?


Love you so much,
DindaZein♥

Me, May 11th, 19th, The Impossible and Miracles

People people, I miss you! I sure hope you do have the same feeling with me. Haven't posted any letters about my life almost for a month, so now it's my turn to tell you everything that have come by my life and filled my days with you all in this spot.

Let's start with one point. Tonight is my new year eve. Yeah as usual 10th May, a day before I start a new day in my new year. Guess, I gotta treasure my last days of being 18, which is literally the most meaningful year of my life, the year where I finally find who I am, what I want and achieve some goals. The best year in my life - so far.

I'm a bit excited welcoming the upcoming year which is coming in less than 8 hours from now on, 19! I don't know why, I like 19. That's not my favorite number, no one could beat 11, its still unbeatable. But when I notice that I'm turning 19, I feel like joy! My auntie said that 19 is the cutest year for young girls and boys, it's likely because 19 is the last year you are being called as teenager, -in my opinion-.

But I'm astonished and overwhelmed about this stage. I would really love to ask my self in the future, 'how does 19 look like? Is that better than 18? '

18, The year where I finally realised that miracles do really exist. I still remember when I celebrated my birthday in state of recovery due to accident in which made my right leg had broken. All I could do was just being patient and willingly accept all the things that happened to me. There were no protests, no feelings such griefs or even disappointment in my self. I tried to accept all that I've been given.

I was welcoming my 18 with quite simple way. I didn't expect too much, I didn't ask for extraordinary things I usually did on my birthday unless some particular wishes like every human sure do. Bear in mind -if I'm not wrong- I just want my 18 goes very well as God let it to be.

No party. Family just came to my house and gathered together. I cut the cake in my crib, with my broken leg. My birthday present? I got Blackberry -my best friend during recovery-, I got a fish eye Lomo Camera from my Ex, 2 birthday cakes from Aldi and Dona, a book "Sex After Dugem" from Dad and the most important thing is God's blessing. He gave me His endless love in for making me endless happier by realising how an accident gives great wisdom afterwards. Full support from all my friends was priceless, my amazing UAN scores was precious, my days afterwards were definitely went so smooth. Those were all beyond my expectation! He just simply love me by simple ways.

The ways of making me being such a luckiest girl has been proved with another story, when I surprisingly moved to Singapore. Never thought, never dreamt and never wondered how He could make it happen. I was starting a new life on a new page, in a new place with new things around, yet, in the same old me.

He sent me a very lovely host family like Bu Sue, Yani and Hakim ; adorable acquaintances like Sue, Kak Nor, Idres and Shah, and another kindly friends who literally love me.

Briefly, I celebrated my 18 with a simple way, without expecting anything much, but it turned out to be the best year of my life - so far.

So apparently, I could do the same thing. Meanwhile I got feeling that 19 is gonna be great, I'm lil afraid that it wouldn't be like I'm expected. Adventure or even trip is quite fun with least expectation and I made it real with my story above. Mm.. Perhaps I'm just afraid of the fact that 19 wouldn't be as great as 18. No no, I should keep believing that whatever the year, it would gonna be great as long as I live it up to the fullest.

However, the funny thing is, the more I realised I'm turning 19, the more I want to stay young. And bad thing is, just couple of days before The Day, I felt so down, so hopeless and seemed like griefs stick around me.

Do you know why it happened to me? Because God actually wants me to know the thing which so-called "Impossibility".
Nevertheless, instead of I openly believing that-is-so-called "Impossibility", I stand strongly and keep believing that "NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE, IMPOSSIBLE IS NOTHING".

If you asked me what thing that I currently want more than anything else, I surely will answer "I WANT THE IMPOSSIBLE".
Am I nuts? You are nuts!

Impossibility is real, and for me, as long as it's still real, we could reach it with efforts. But that's not the main thing of all. I believe that Impossibility doesn't exist or perhaps there's no such a thing like Impossibility only because one thing, I believe there's miracle.

The magic of miracle, when impossible comes possible and dreams becoming reality, is real.

So, is that enough of saying that I could reach what I really want? Is that strange facing the truth that miracle even more exist than impossibility? Is that impossible wanting the impossible happens in real life?

Once again, for me, there's no impossibility, miracle is.

Another funny truth regarding miracle, it sometimes comes without and beyond our expectations. Let's make it clear. Ever notice if we surrender to receive the reality with no hope, no beliefs and no pray, the miracle surprisingly happened coming to us? As regards of it, I surely can conclude that miracle beats the the impossible.

Well, after all I got these truth, these realities, I could learn many priceless lessons.

One of them is this one; There comes a time when we should surrender our soul; stop hoping, stop believing, stop praying and just accepting God's will in order to get some miracles which is sent by God as a surprise.
Once you get it, I'm sure, you will definitely feel like the luckiest man on earth and praise Him more than before.

And oh well, what is the relation between my birthday and the impossible? It's obviously related. Bcs I want the impossible happens for real, for my bday present. And once again, God has made it perfectly though it hasn't done yet.

Shout a wonderful "Happy New Year" to me, people. I LOVE YOU, like I love my 18!



Ps: whoever who reads this post, I kindly ask you to drop some comments. It will be well accepted! :) xx